It can be hard to plan for an apocalypse. No one seems to know when or what it’ll looks like – or rather, there are just too many options to choose from. However, if you stick with the broad biblical categories of Pestilence, War, Famine and Death, there is one failsafe rule:

When those horsemen come riding over the horizon – run the the other way.

That’s why my chicken coop has wheels.

Mounting the frame onto the trailer tested my commitment to the surviving-the-apocalypse practice of mobile chickens. But with Belle’s help and lots of grunting and some cunning levers, we managed it.

Belle: was that really necessary.
Me: but, but – the apocalypse.

ONE WEEK LATER…

Belle: I’ve got a job in Asheville.
Me: APOCALYPSE DRILL!

Asheville NC is about 65 miles north of Greenville SC.

This would take us out of the immediate blast range of the incoming meteor that was due to deflect off the moon and smash into the blossoming town of Travellers Rest SC. We’d also be well clear of the nuclear fall out from the secrete weapons program at the Savannah River Site GA, which would be hit by a large fragment of the meteor that broke off in our atmosphere. And finally, we’d be further into the mountains and therefore protected from the unpredictable tsunamis that would be caused by the altered orbit of the moon when the meteor hit it.

Luckily for the chickens; they’re a mobile flock.

T minus 4 days and lots of work to do

It gets hot in the summer so sufficient ventilation was always a part of the plan. This is an old screen door I found turned into a window.

I wanted to grow some herbs or flowers that would be good for the chickens. It’s a deep box to protect the root and stems but allow the leaves to overflow and be eaten by the chickens. I’ll probably need a wire guard to stop them reaching their necks in.

Garden box ready for soil and planting and a ventilated window cover for bad weather.

Even Belle was worried about the imminent apocalypse. At this stage I still haven’t bought anything more than screws and nails. All the panels are deconstructed pallets.

The back door is a large drop down opening so that I can get in the coop and clean it periodically – again all old pallets.

More mesh ventilation. These will have hinged wooden covers for bad weather.

I chose a pretty standard vertical sliding chicken door with an external pull rope.

My chickens have always loved roosting in the bushes, so I wanted them to have some real tree under their feet at night.

I wouldn’t say I got everything done that I wanted to, but this was an emergency exit.

Apocalyptic Fail: my truck does’t have a tow hitch so we had to borrow a friends (luckily they didn’t watch the news).

Half way up I26 the temporary roof shredded into tiny bits and evaporated over the interstate. I was extremely concerned that my chickens, seeing the clear blue sky, would attempt to exit the coop. I had a clear image in my head of what would happen when one of my hens encountered a 60mph headwind in one direction and an 18-wheeler in the other.

Once we got off the interstate, Belle and I devised rescue plans in case the chickens escaped onto these slower roads, but fortunately they stayed put. When we arrived at our new home they were crowded into a corner of the coop and looked as if we had narrowly escaped an apocalyptic event! I’m glad they took the drill seriously.

Priority #1 – a roof.