Three miles from my house, there is a field full of cows. The field is five feet deep in cow manure. Technically that’s not true. It does not qualify as manure until it is used to fertilise land. So, when I arrived at the cow field, what I was really looking at was a huge amount of cow poo.

I did a quick mental calculation:

5ft x a few acres = a shit load of shit [please excuse the irresistible profanity]

And there was me thinking my chickens were prolific in the poop department.

For my friends in Salford – these are not cows

With shovel and fork I did some more digging. Digging has become a pretty major part of my life, so I can inform you with a confident tone that digging cow manure is bloody hard work. It sticks to the shovel. The mixed in hay from the feed resists being sliced and tangles the fork. It’s extremely dense. Cows stare at you in a non-threatening manner. The donkey gets confused and screams a little too human-like.

Fortunately, being fairly aged, it didn’t smell so bad.

The advantages of manure of any kind are numerous, but my main reason for wanting it was its cost (free) and its organic content (high). I needed to break up the clay-like soil that I’d found beneath the grass so the roots of my vegetables could have a fighting chance and the hay would act like mulch to hold the moisture during the hot spells.

I know I’m pretty late in the season, but we’re getting very close to planting!