I am the proud owner of three Black Sex Links – these are hens to the weak minded.

There was a time when I never wanted anything to do with chickens. I thought they were evil. It’s the way they look at you with their heads cocked, as if they are considering where best to peck you. Unfortunately ducks needed water, so I was stuck with chickens.

After only a few short days I’m beginning to think the how-to-kill-you-best look is more of a who-the-hell-are-you look and in time will become a you’re-the-man-with-the-food-so-feed-me look. Maybe they’re not so evil; maybe they really are just stupid?

Last night one of them tried roosting in a bush while the other two were roosting on top of the coop. I felt like a father as I picked them up and put them to bed. I’ve also been sure to name them, which means they cannot be eaten [I think this was one of the Ten Commandments].

As well as egg production (not yet seen), my hope is they will cull the mosquito population which has been allowed to thrive. My garden is the epicentre of a super-hybrid giant killer mosquito breeding facility. In time I will train Lucy, Lacy and Spacey to rid the garden/world of these pointless creatures.

Mosquitos are one of the few animals I condone killing. Ticks are another, and chickens will eat them too!