Worms – Drowned. Mint – Perished. Spring Onions – Droopy. Chickens – Escaped.

I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m relying on Google and brief conversations with my worms. So in a way, I suppose this disastrous day was inevitable. I should’ve paid more attention when my parents made me water the garden at home.

In no particular order:

1) My entire worm population attempted mass suicide by drowning.

‘What’s wrong you idiots?’ I asked.

‘Well it’s one of three things,’ said the worms (after I’d saved them from drowning).

‘I’m not telepathic,’ I said (still mad).

‘It’s either too wet, too hot or to acidic in here.’

‘Which one?’ I asked.

‘God knows,’ said the worms. ‘We’re just acting on instinct.’

Bloody worms, I thought.

2) Epic fail on guerilla gardening.

I took the stolen mint from its jar of water and put it in sandy soil. A couple of hours later it was as shrivelled as a steroid-users scrotum. I’ve now put it back in the water, but it’s in a bad way.

3) I read this great article on ‘forever’ spring onions.

Place onions in a jar with water and put somewhere sunny. Chop tops as needed and they’ll grow back.

Easy.

WARNING: taking spring onions from dark fridge to 85F and full sun will cause extreme droopiness and wilting. I’ve brought them inside but they still look sad.

4) CHICKENS

10 days of chickens and still no eggs. I can cope with this; they need time to adjust.

The real problem: 10 days of chickens and they don’t go in their coop at night. Instead they roost in a bush near the fence. I was coping with this also, until tonight.

Tonight all chickens were in the bush. I tried to pick them up and put them to bed (as usual). First Lucy leapt into the main garden and hit the panic button (Lucy is very sensitive). Lucky for Lucy she trapped herself against the chicken fence and a tree and I caught her easily.

‘What were you thinking?’ I asked.

Straight in with the silent treatment. I put her in the coop and went to get Spacey.

Spacey was more devious. She leapt into the neighbouring garden, which is actually an empty lot. I had to climb a bramble ridden fence and chase her around. I took my top off to use as a net and the mosquitos swarmed my pale British flesh. Spacey made a run for the road.

Game over, I thought.

But she cut under some bushes and into our front garden. I climbed the spiky fence again, opened the garden gate, and persuaded Spacey back into her enclosure.

‘Bloody hell, Spacey,’ I said.

Zip. Nada. Nothing.

The worms wont shut up and the chickens wont say a word.

I despair.

0 Comments Add yours

  1. Well, I just worked out why the worms don’t like my bin: http://mediasite.online.ncsu.edu/online/Viewer/?peid=ed5c695a835f435197db7f5f33bd733c1d

    I don’t think I was doing anything right.

    Tomorrow it’s time for worm farm mark II.

  2. joshuajayde says:

    I know this is an older entry, but I really felt inclined to share my knowledge in the area of plant thievery. Why? Because I think it’s the greatest thing ever! Honestly, the idea that one plant can be cut into dozens of the same plant just FASCINATES me, and it’s how I grew a lot of my summer herbs.
    So I’m here to offer some advice:
    Most plant cuttings will do quite well in water, but you can put them right into the dirt as long as you keep it pretty moist for a week or two after they’re planted. However, if you’re determined to do the water method, here’s my technique : cut the plants and let them sit in water for quite a while – each one is different, but they aren’t ready until they have a few decent roots on each stalk. To boost the rate at which the roots will grow, put a pinch or two of soil into the water and stir it well – this allows the plants to absorb nutrients as well as water, which really helps them thrive.
    But most trimmings do best if you just put them right into moist, fertile soil – and don’t forget to keep it moist. Also, from your pictures it looks like you planted them in a jar? This might have been part of the problem, since a jar doesn’t have any way to drain excess water. You need a regular pot with holes on the bottom – the soil itself will keep the moisture level it needs if you just remember to water it regularly. Any excess will drain out the bottom.
    Good luck, and keep stealing plants! haha. In all honesty, you’re helping them out by trimming them – plants like that!

    1. joshuajayde says:

      Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the onions – awesome that you’re regrowing! Did you know you can do the same thing with the tops of carrots and beets?
      Put dirt in their water, too, and just clip those droopy tops right off. The plants themselves just don’t have enough roots to maintain that much live, green tissue – the roots get trimmed before they’re hauled to the supermarket, and this really limits their capabilities to thrive at room temperature. They would’ve drooped sooner if it weren’t for refrigeration.
      So like I said : cut them down to about an inch or so of green leaves and drop ’em in water with a pinch of dirt. They’ll explode with roots and more green yumminess, and they’ll be able to maintain a decent size stalk when they adjust and grow roots.
      😀

    2. WOW – thank you. I need to go out and get some more mint to try it on!

      The rosemary and lavender (planted straight into dirt) seems to be doing ok.

      Thank you for your advice – I’ll let you know how round two goes…

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